The Chocobo Whisperer
by Sheep the Adventurer
Summary: It thinks you're its mother..." When Zell becomes mother to an orphaned chicobo, he thinks it can't be that hard. But when all hell breaks loose, he learns never to underestimate overly cute small birds. SqR SQ SeIr ZLG
1. Chapter 1: A meeting of minds

Disclaimer: ::Hysterical sobbing:: (No I don't own Final Fantasy)

The Chocobo whisperer

Chapter 1

Zell sighed heavily and rested his head on his hands. He crossed his eyes and shifted in his seat. Was it _really _necessary for Squall to talk in a monotone?

Glancing up he saw even Squall looked bored, pointing at random figures on a whiteboard. As he watched, Squall picked up a board pen, aggressively took off the lid and rammed it on the bottom. There was an embarrassing silence as the pen squeaked across the board.

"And last months figures show that at last the monster situation in Esthar has finally begun to calm down and we have agreed with President Loire-"

"Daddy." Came a sudden whisper.

Squall glared around the table and the people stifling laughter.

His angry gaze rested on Irvine, who was leaning back with a casual arm slung over the back of his chair. Selphie was trying to quietly admonish him through giggles.

Irvine flicked the edge of his hat up and gave Squall a small wave "Howdy Squall." He drawled with a smile.

Squall gave him a death glare for good measure and turned back to the board.

"As I was saying, _President Loire_ agrees with me that we no longer need to send so many teams to Esthar."

Zell once more tuned out the speech and heaved another world weary sigh. Why, _why _did he agree to become an administrator? It was more boring than….than…_everything._

Quistis was covertly yawning behind a gloved hand while blinking sleepily. Beside her, Seifer appeared to be openly sleeping. He was facing in the general direction of the whiteboard, but with his eyes closed and his even breathing- it was fully possible that he was unconscious.

Rinoa blew on a pen lying on the table and made it rattle forwards, giving everyone a quick apologetic grin she snatched it up.

Only Xu seemed to be paying attention…or maybe not. She was scribbling furiously on a pad in front of her, but it might have been the reports for Class 11B that had been due in yesterday.

A representative of NORG sat quietly at the end of the table. Although NORG no longer lived on the premises of Balamb Garden, he lived back in Shumi village, doing penance by helping making statues of Squall. He still had a love of money, and more importantly to Garden, _had _money. Therefore he was still part of Garden. The representative was just sitting there, not at all interesting. Zell guessed (quite accurately) that if Cid would (quite unlikely) decide to run into the meeting naked and do a few circuits around the table, the guy with the weird hat would not stir a muscle.

Zell stopped, _maybe…hes dead!_ Zell sat up straighter and craned his neck to look under the hat. He attracted a few odd looks as he stretched over the table and stared at the NORG representative.

The man with the weird hat still did not move.

His face was still in shadow, if he could lean forward a little more…

Meanwhile, Squall paused. He watched, bemused at the blonde martial artist staring at the NORG representative, while stretched over the table. A peculiar silence had descended in the room, as Squall had stopped talking and was blinking at Zell.

After a short period of time, Zell seemed to realise the quiet, he jerked up. Flushing he withdrew back into his seat muttering something about stretching. He cast a dark look at the NORG representative.

Seifer seemed to have woken up, and looked disappointed about it.

Squall seemed to recollect himself and had slipped back into the dull monotone and wearing an expression that he would rather be facing Ultimecia, Ultima and Omega weapon simultaneously than continue. Heavy lids slipped down over his steel blue eyes.

Zell tapped his fingers on the cheap pine table, his head being supported by a hand under his chin. Gazing absently out of the window, he failed to notice the irritated glances being thrown his way.

_Tap tap tap tap…_

Unknown to Zell, the NORG representative shifted slightly.

_Tap tap tappity tap tap._

Zell, being engrossed in a Balamb seagull drifting close to the window, failed to notice the NORG representative clear his throat.

Squall was now on the benefits of the new system of pass cards for entry in the Training centre.

_Tap tap tap…_

The seagull had landed and was staring with beady eyes at Zell. The tapping paused.

The NORG representative seemed to relax a little.

_Tap tap tappity tappity tap…_

..And winced as Zell began the insistent tapping once more.

A few minutes passed where the NORG representative waited almost desperately for the sound to stop.

There was a screech as chair legs were pushed back and the NORG representative stood up.

Squall broke off his last sentence about the problem with amorous T-rexaurs and looked in amazement.

The rest of the room was staring at the infuriated man slightly open-mouthed.

Zell transferred his attention from the seagull and looked up, his fingers poised above the table.

"What?"

The NORG representative gave an inarticulate scream of annoyance and anger and stalked out.

Zell watched him go as if the man was crazy. "What's his problem?" Zell asked, clueless.

The meeting continued.

* * *

"WAHOO!!" Zell ran out of the meeting room and punched the air in jubilation. Squall followed, "Don't act too sad." He commented dryly. 

Rinoa ran out from behind him "Thank Hyne!" she took a deep breath and turned to smile radiantly at Squall.

Zell grinned apologetically at the Squall, "Sorry."

Squall raised an eyebrow "Well, you're not the only one." Looking pointedly at Rinoa.

The brunette girl took hold of his arm "I sorry, but I don't particularly find randy dinosaurs that interesting. But…whatever floats your boat!" she smiled cheekily at him.

Squall came dangerously close to a pout.

By this time the other members of the meeting had joined them. Xu said something to Quistis and wandered over to her office.

Selphie bounced out and balanced on one leg and gave a sigh of relief "Hey guys! Anyone hungry?"

Quistis came out and smiled tiredly. Seifer stretching with yawn behind her. He walked out and raked a hand through his hair "Catch you guys later." He waved lazily and walked towards the lift.

Quistis watched him go with an amused smile then shook her head. "Did you say something about food?"

Zell grinned "Ya know, theres a really good hot dog place in Balamb now…?" he waited hopefully.

Irvine groaned and pushed Zell lightly "How 'bout no?"

The blonde man's shoulders slumped in defeat "Damn." He muttered.

"Oh well, I tried!" he stood up straight again and shrugged. Punching the air, he

questioned "Sooo, where _are_ we going?"

Quistis walked over to the lift and pressed the button. Selphie looked a little disappointed but then cheered herself up by stealing Irvine's hat. The sanguine cowboy made a little sound of protest as a giggling Selphie jammed the hat on her head. At the sight of the emerald eyes sparkling he relented "It's a loan." He said kindly.

Selphie turned missing the split-second expression of affectionate longing on the auburn haired man's face, which disappeared as soon as it came.

He gave an easy smile as she posed for a laughing Rinoa and Quistis. He walked past her and picked the hat off her head and put it back in its rightful place. Selphie squealed in indignation and leapt after the cowboy into the lift. She latched onto his neck "Revenge!" she cried grinningly devilishly.

Irvine grimaced "You don't seem to realise quite what this is doing to me, Sephy." He murmured.

She let go abruptly and blushed. "Hey guys?" she said quickly and motioned at the lift "It won't wait forever!"

'The guys' agreed and crowded into the lift. The door pinged shut. As the lift was only really designed for around three or maybe even four people, and the group comprised of six people.

"Uh, Squall?"

"…Yes Rin?"

"Maybe you should consider having a larger lift installed."

"Roger."

* * *

The group finally decided on a small fish restaurant in Balamb. The waiter had pushed two tables together and the group sat around, chatting lightly and eating. 

Zell leant back, after finishing his meal at least half an hour before everyone else. He gave an inward shrug, it wasn't his fault everyone ate so slowly.

His gaze became slightly absent and reflective.

A year had passed since the defeat of Ultimecia. Seifer had returned to Garden, suitably humble. At first Cid had deemed it better to have him where the could keep an eye on him. But as he actually became a SeeD and people had found that despite the occasional annoying arrogance, he was actually…quite a nice guy.

Well that was other people's opinion, Zell snorted, he thought that Seifer was still the same jerk he had always been. Although at least he wasn't laughing maniacally in a dark cave somewhere, plotting the downfall of SeeD.

Squall and Rinoa, as expected, were a couple. They did have their differences from time to time, but were as happy as could be expected.

Squall was still Commander, and Cid was still headmaster. Edea lived in Balamb and, truth be told, that was where Cid spent most of his time.

All the Orphanage gang were high level SeeDs, Quistis was working to becoming an Instructor again.

Selphie and Irvine were bickering good-naturedly over the last chip left. Zell looked on fondly, like an indulgent parent. Honestly, those two were like a couple!

His gaze was drawn to Squall laughing at a comment made by Rinoa. Zell frowned, maybe be should try and find himself a girl. It was ages since he had dated. He took a deep breath and puffed out his chest. Watch out ladies, he thought, the Zell mojo is comin' at ya!

"Zell?"

He turned to see Quistis glancing at him curiously "Are you alright?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Heheh…" Zell scratched the back of his head awkwardly "Nothin' Quisty. I'm fine."

The blonde woman smiled "Okay."

Outside the sun began to set on the island of Balamb.

* * *

Meanwhile a million miles away, a yellow bird warked unhappily and kicked out a Geezard. The monster flew back several feet and snarled as it twisted its body to get on its feet again. The mother Chocobo was surrounded, she gave an anxious sweep of the surroundings, seeing only Geezards. They cackled and sensing the Chocobo waver, redoubled their efforts. 

The Chocobos last thoughts as the night closed in were of a small blue egg.

* * *

A random idea whizzed into my brain and you have seen the effects. Please tell me what you think. And the pairings are the conventional (Squinoa, Seiftis, Selvine and Zell/ library girl). 

Zell is a hard Pov to work from, but I enjoyed doing it! This is kinda a break from my other fic, Devil's Cub. Damn writers block….My muse Algiers is very lazy.

Algiers:...

Next Chapter: Mother Zell


	2. Chapter 2: The frolicking of Geezards

Chapter 2

He flew through the corridors like the wind, his trainers squeaking against the floor. Pushing past a small cadet and jumping over a random potted plant.

_Must...get…there…_

Skidding into the canteen, Zell jogged up to the counter.

"Doris?" inquired Zell breathlessly, a look of expectant hope on his face.

Doris smiled warmly "Ah Zell," she greeted politely.

Zell grinned, breathing more normally.

"So?"

Doris gave a cursory smile and wandered off to the back of the kitchen.

"Bertha? The hotdogs?"

Zell waited the few agonising seconds.

"No they fell off the truck this morning and were eaten by bite-bugs."

Doris waddled back "I'm sorry dear, we have Caeser salad though?"

Zell whimpered and nodded. Soon a plate of wilted lettuce was plonked in front of him.

He picked it up and dragged his feet over to a table. Sitting down, he held the plastic fork and skewered a piece of lettuce. It hung off the fork limply.

DING

"This is Squall, will Zell Dincht please report to the third floor. Repeat will Zell report to the THIRD floor."

DING

The intercom pinged off. With a sigh of resignation Zell stood up. His stomach grumbled, "Im sorry, old friend. Duty calls." It growled once more then fell silent.

Zell sighed feeling very put-upon.

DING

"Will Doris the lunch lady please report to the third floor with a pot of coffee. Repeat will Doris the lunch lady please report to the third floor with a pot of coffee. URGENT."

DING

Squall's voice blared out once more around garden. Zell looked up wearily; then was almost knocked over by Doris hurrying past with a coffee pot.

DING

"…..and a blueberry muffin…"

"Squall if you don't stop messing with the Intercom, I'll stick that muffin right up your…"

DING

The Intercom pinged off abruptly. Xu's voice had been faint but perfectly discernable.

Doris, looking pretty pissed off, stormed past Zell once more, presumably in search of the elusive blueberry muffin.

Zell shrugged and chuckled.

Shoving hands into his pockets, and whistling a tune, he made his way to the lift.

He walked in and was just about to press the button when Doris stomped in as well.

"Third floor." She snapped.

"Me too." Replied Zell morosely, thinking of hotdogs.

Most of the journey up was spent in silence.

Squall was standing by the elevator looking strained. It was open secret (meaning that everyone knew it but were too kind or too stupid to take advantage of it) that Squall had a coffee addiction.

Doris whirled in looking determined to give Squall a firm piece of her mind about ordering the cafeteria staff around. Cafeteria staff are people too although this new young generations seems to have NO respect for their elders….But after a dangerous look from Squall, some deep instinct left over from the roots of man warned her that maybe that wasn't such a good idea.

Zell had been standing outside the elevator watching events unfold with an innocent 'don't-hurt-me-I'm-just-a-bystander' expression on his face.

Squall, pouring out a large cup of coffee, turned to Zell with a sigh.

Zell held up his hand

"Yo, so…what's up?" he questioned.

Squall grunted and attacked the blueberry muffin.

Zell watched in a sort of horrified fascination. He'd had no idea eating could be frightening (of course, Zell had never had the felicity of seeing himself with hotdogs).

Squall closed his eyes and gave a happy sigh. He turned to Zell looking a bit more human.

"So, Zell." He began gravely.

Zell shook the vaguely scared look off his face. "Is this about the T-board incident? I swear, the granny ran in front of _me-_"

Squall shook his head and cut Zell off "No, it's a mission."

Zell brightened perceptibly "Yeah, _that's _what I'm talkin' about! Is it Ruby Dragons? Marlboros??" Zell was grinning madly, _finally a challenge!_

Squall regarded him levelly for a moment, taking sips of coffee. "No."

Zell's smile faded somewhat.

The brunette sighed and picked up a manila folder.

He held it out to Zell "Geezard infestation in Winhill." He said flatly.

"….Oh…"

Zell had always prided himself on being able to take any news like a man. So it was probably better for his self-esteem that he didn't know his bottom lip was sticking out, reflected Squall, taking a deep drink of coffee.

"Ok." Said Zell tonelessly and opened the folder.

There was picture of a geezard and a picture of Winhill and a small scribbled note saying for Nida to come and meet Xu for a good time. Zell flushed and snapped the folder shut.

"Quistis and Seifer will be going with you. I wouldn't usually send you guys on a mission like this but all other SeeDs are busy at the moment" Squall remarked and stared at his coffee with something akin to wonder.

* * *

"Go Ragnorak, we're flying, we're flying!" Selphie sang happily as she swerved the Ragnorak past a couple of geese (whose life-spans had probably been irrevocably shortened by the shock).

Seifer was in the corner, some might say trying to sleep, some might say he was scared shitless about Selphie's rather light attitude to flying. He was slouched over a few seats.

Irvine was standing behind petit girl, his hand resting lightly on the back of her seat.

Quistis was frowning and trying- but failing- to block out Selphie's song and read.

Zell was shadow boxing in the corner.

"Stop swatting flies, chicken wuss, its _annoying_." Seifer said wearily and dropped his head into his hands.

Zell stopped and looked outraged.

"Stop it Seifer, calm down Zell." Said Quistis automatically, not looking up from her book.

Seifer looked up "Stating simple truth, Instructor."

"I'm not an Instructor."

"Whatever."

He got simultaneous looks from all the people in the cabin.

Seifer looked around "It's just a godamn _word._" He snapped irritably and resolutely closed his eyes again.

Selphie shrugged and concentrated on the clouds once more.

Zell glared at the oblivious Seifer for a moment, then jogged over to Selphie and Irvine.

"So, Selphie…" he began casually.

"No." came the calm reply from the normally hyperactive girl.

Irvine smiled appreciatively and leant back to lean against a railing.

"_Please…"_ pleaded Zell.

Selphie didn't take her eyes of off the sky.

"No." she repeated carefully.

"Can I drive _just this once_??" Zell cried, frustrated.

"No."

The rest of the people in the cabin settled down for what they knew was going to be a _long _drive.

* * *

It was a beautiful day in Winhill, the sun was shining, the sky was blue, the Geezards were frolicking and Zell was sulking.

Quistis got out her whip in a business-like fashion, Seifer looked on seeming quite intrigued.

"Zell," she sighed "Maybe, she'll let you drive on the way back."

Zell's expression (which looked grumpy), didn't change.

Quistis caught Seifer watching, she blushed "What??" she snapped.

He turned away, looking innocent. "Nothing."

"Anyway," Quistis began, with a glare at Seifer "We'd better start."

Zell was moodily scuffing the ground with his feet. "I wouldn't crash it." He murmured half to himself.

Seifer chuckled "You know _why_ they confiscated your T-board? The number of casualties was reaching double figures."

"Ha ha." Said Zell sarcastically.

Seifer laughed and followed Quistis, who was stalking some unfortunate frolicking Geezards.

Zell sighed and his shoulders slumped. It was as if nobody trusted him to do _anything_. And it wasn't his fault those people were in the way of his T-board. Anyway they were only minor injuries.

He looked up and saw Seifer and Quistis dealing with the Geezards, who weren't really frolicking anymore. It was mass Geezardcide out there.

Zell shrugged, he might as well go on a small tour of Winhill.

He started out down the dry track road through the rustic style houses. An old woman was whistling and beating a carpet- rather viciously, it may be noted.

Zell moved carefully to the other side of the road and continued on as the houses faded and fields were the boundary.

A warm breeze floated past, bringing with it the scent of a summer day. Zell sighed again and vaulted over the small fence into the field.

He was walking through the long grass when he heard a sudden cracking noise. He paused, his soldier senses on alert.

_Peep, craaaack._

He swung round, his fists up and ready. It didn't _sound_ like a monster.

_CRACK_

There was a relieved sounding 'peep', then silence.

Zell relaxed slightly, and his fists were lowered from defensive posture.

"PEEP!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGGHHHHH!!"

Zell shouted and sprang back, looking around wildly for whatever had just landed –rather heavily- on his foot.

"Peep."

Slowly, his heart thudding, Zell looked down….

….To see a small fluffy bunch of yellow staring back at him through big blue eyes.

"Peep." It repeated insistently and shuffled over to him.

Zell, wide-eyed, stumbled back.

"Um, nice birdy." He spoke haltingly, with a weak smile.

Then he ran.

* * *

Quistis sighed and turned away from a dead Geezard, it hadn't been too hard work but there were so _many_. Apparently, the T-rexaurs weren't the only monsters that had been busy lately.

Seifer was few metres away, hacking away at stubborn Geezard.

Quistis swept a tired hand across her brow, and then her eyes narrowed in confusion as a figure hurtled towards them,

"Seifer!" she called and got into battle position. He ran up and squinted at the figure. "Is that…Chicken wuss?" he asked, puzzled.

Quistis slipped on her glasses and glanced up "Yes but…why is he running so fast?"

Seifer snorted "Probably a vicious caterpillar looked at him." He turned away and shot an approaching Geezard.

Zell, panting reached them and hid behind Quistis. "It's coming!"

Quistis turned around to look at him "What?" she asked, alarmed.

She switched her attention to empty plain in front of them; she looked closely and saw a small bundle running towards them.

"What is it?"

It finally reached them and peeped dolefully.

Quistis looked at it "But it's so cute!" she exclaimed. She knelt down in front of it, inadvertently showing Zell.

The little Chicobo's eyes lit up and it waddled round to the martial artist and peeped lovingly.

Quistis giggled, lifting a hand to her mouth. She stood up.

Seifer laughed "So that was the terrible threat you were running from."

"It won't stop following me." Said Zell plaintively, looking at the Chicobo, defeated.

Quistis was looking reflective "It seems to be relatively young, I'd say only a few hours. We seem to be done here." She looked at Seifer, who nodded, seeming highly amused by all this. "Let's get back to the Ragnorak."

* * *

"Peep."

The Chicobo cheeped inquisitively as it sat looking up at the group of faces engaged in looking at it. They were in the cockpit of Ragnorak, with the chicobo on a table. Zell and Seifer were sat down near the table, while the rest of the group stood around it.

"Aw it's so cute!" Selphie clasped her hands and looked in delight "And yellow!"

Irvine chuckled and put an arm around her, she blushed. "I think the little guy belongs to Zell, Sephy." He drawled.

Quistis pushed up her glasses "I think," she began musingly "I heard somewhere that little birds, when they are hatched, they think the first thing they see is their mother and they'll follow their mother wherever."

Zell raised his head from his hands "Is there _any _way I can get rid of it??" he was seated near them, as the chicobo would just follow him if he walked away.

Quistis sighed "I think it's an orphan." She said quietly. "Chocobos are very devoted mothers and never usually stray far from their unborn chicks unless it is to protect them."

Seifer stood up from where he had been sitting and reached into his coat, he took out a curling yellow feather and tossed it down on the table by the chicobo. "It may have been the Geezards." He said carelessly.

There was a minute of silence.

Selphie shook her head then shrugged off Irvine's arm with a quick apologetic smile and bounced over to Quistis. "So that means that the chicobo must think that…"

"…Zell is its mother." Finished Quistis with a sigh.

"Maybe it's the hair." Whispered Selphie quietly to Quistis. Both the women's eyes were irresistibly drawn to the spiky blond.

Zell stood up swiftly "I can't be a mother to it!!" he shouted angrily. The chicobo stood up too and peeped mournfully.

Selphie went over to him, her eyes bright, she grabbed his arm and guided him over to small bird. "You look into its eyes and tell me that!" she said furiously.

Blue eyes met blue eyes.

The pair of hard blue eyes melted as the pair of large incredibly cute eyes watched them unwaveringly.

Zell sighed and stood back, he held a hand over his eyes. "Ok, I'm a single mother." He stated simply.

Selphie laughed and clapped with delight.

Seifer groaned and got out Hyperion then started wiping it.

"Right, so Zell has accepted his responsibilities, what now?" asked Irvine reasonably, sitting down.

Quistis looked thoughtfully at Zell prodding the small mass of feathers.

"How about a name? You can't just continue called the damn thing 'it'." Spoke up Seifer unexpectedly.

For the second time that day, he got looks.

"What?" he growled, and returned to the masculine task of cleaning Hyperion, rather than looking at a cute fluffy bird.

"What, um, what…" began Selphie haltingly.

"You mean what gender is it?" interrupted Irvine smoothly. Selphie gave him a grateful smile and it was returned tenderly.

Quistis examined it "I think it- she- is a girl." She clarified.

Zell started as the chicobo leapt into his lap and snuggled in, cheeping affectionately.

"What about Hotdog?" asked Zell hopefully, patting the chicobo's head absently. She peeped in an irritated fashion and shuffled away from his hand.

Quistis gave him a level stare. He flushed "Ok, maybe not that."

Selphie bounced up "Fluffy!" she squealed.

Irvine shook his head and chuckled "I don't think she'd appreciate that, Seph."

Selphie sighed but perked up "Choco?"

* * *

So…that was the chapter. Hope it was okay, please tell me what you think and review! And maybe suggest a name for chicobo? I don't know what to call her! 'Til next time…

Next Chapter: Zell settles into maternal duties.


	3. Chapter 3: Peep?

Chapter 3

"Squall."

"Yes Nippy?"

"Its Nid-_a_."

"Sorry Niba."

"Ni- Sir the Winhill mission has returned."

Squall looked up absently from his coffee. "You aren't Xu."

Nida sighed, looking frustrated. "Xu has gone get some tea. I'm covering for her."

"Oh…What's wrong with coffee?"

Nida didn't like to mention that whenever somebody tried to take coffee from the third floor, Squall would magically appear with the temper of wounded Marlboro which had been poked with big long pointy sticks.

Therefore most people who worked on the third floor had quickly learned the wonderful advantages of other (non coffee) beverages.

"Nothing, nothing, she just decided some tea would be nice." Replied Nida airily.

He didn't mention that he and Xu had hatched a nefarious (and some might say downright evil) plot to cure Squall's caffeine addiction.

Nida chuckled nastily, and walked out. Squall watched him go and subconsciously laid a hand on Lionheart.

Squall took a deep breath and spun round on his desk chair, casting a doleful look at the large pile of paperwork. He scooted over to them and picked the first few up.

"Hm…File for a law suit, injuries sustained because of careless driving of a T-board by a Garden student."

_Third one this week_, thought Squall, surprised. He flicked over to the next one.

"Posting of indecent pictures on the Garden homepage of Squall Leonhart…WHAT??"

Squall's eyes widened, he moved over to the computer and brought up the Garden homepage. In flowery writing at the bottom was a new link, 'The Lion in Squall'.

Snatching up the phone, Squall punched in a few numbers.

"Web technician?" he barked. "Sort out the godamn website, _pronto._" He slammed down the phone.

He relaxed slightly, and cast a quick look round, then clicked on the link.

Squall's eyes flew open and he choked.

Since when had he owned, let alone _worn_, a leather thong??

_Wait_, thought Squall, there _had_ been that time when he'd got really really drunk…and

Irvine had suggested…

Damn, and he thought he'd only destroyed some property that night.

Squall clicked off the link with a sigh, at least soon it would be off the website.

He needed coffee.

He pushed the button on his desk.

"Xu? Nib? Whoever it is, get me some coffee, please."

Squall sat back in his chair, at least he'd be ok soon. He sighed blissfully, the miracle of coffee. It was the light in the dark days of paperwork. A small voice in his head told him that maybe Rinoa should be his light. Squall frowned, _okay,__ coffee is my saviour from paperwork._ The little voice quietened abruptly.

Nida walked in and casually laid down the decanter of coffee. Squall smiled gratefully (which really meant a slight upturn of the lips).

He poured some out and took a sip.

_Wait…_

"This coffee tastes like…."

* * *

"SHITE!!"

Zell jumped as the chicobo launched herself into his lap.

Selphie twisted around in her seat at the front of Ragnorak, Seifer looked on worriedly.

"Language Zell! You have a young one to care for now!" she reprimanded him, frowning. She looked back forwards and Seifer visibly relaxed.

"I was sleeping and she jumped at me!" replied Zell defensively.

"We're almost at Garden Zell, your l'il birdie has good timing." Said Irvine with an approving look at the small bird.

"So thought of a name yet?" asked Quistis, looking up from her book.

"What about….Weiner?" Zell said, with a smile.

"No." There was a chorus of disagreement around the cockpit.

"Isn't that the Hotdog company?" asked Seifer thoughtfully.

Zell flushed "No!" he said, looking sideways.

Selphie smiled wickedly "What about Irvy?"

Irvine went pale "No, darlin', I don't think that's a good name for _a girl chicobo_."

Selphie gave him a sweet smile.

Seifer stood up and walked over to the chicobo. He towered over the small little bird

"What do you want to be called?" he growled.

"Peep." She whimpered.

Seifer straightened and walked back to his seat. "See? Easy."

"We can't call her that!" protested Quistis.

"Well then, it can be temporary."

Peep stood up and waddled over to the edge of Zell's knees, then promptly dropped off.

Zell half cursed and shot forward to see if Peep was in one piece.

"Peep." The mournful cry floated up from the floor.

The little bundle of feathers shuffled and got up.

"I think she's okay guys." Concluded Zell with a nod.

"Well, what do you know," cooed Seifer sarcastically "She's growing more and more like her mother every day."

Zell was too busy checking over the- if it was physically possible- purring chicobo.

Selphie had landed the Ragnorak hurriedly and ran over to the small chick. "She's okay??" she questioned anxiously.

"If I'd known adopting a chicobo would," Irvine commented to Seifer in a low voice, watching Quistis and Selphie crowd round Zell "Attract so much attention, I would have done it years ago."

Seifer smirked "Yeah, you should, and then you might get some attention."

Irvine looked indignant "They don't call me a ladies man for nothing." He said with a touch of arrogance.

Seifer looked amused "I bet they don't, Irvina." He moved away, leaving Irvine even more indignant.

"Are you suggesting I'm feminine??" shouted Irvine, a little too loudly.

The rest of the group looked around slowly. Irvine smiled slowly "Heh…" and scratched the back of his head, then directed a life-withering glare at Seifer, who contrived to look admirably innocent.

Squall awaited them at the bottom of ramp out of Ragnorak in the hangar.

"Hey guys." He waved weakly, looking vaguely nauseous.

The group came down the ramp.

"Hey Squall!" greeted Selphie enthusiastically, then paused "You look kinda green…you okay?" she asked, concerned.

He nodded weakly "I'm fine." He seemed to have haunted eyes.

Zell walked jauntily down the ramp and nodded at Squall. "Hey."

Squall nodded back, then noticed a flash of yellow. He shook his head, _I need…_

Squall sighed despondently.

Irvine came up behind Selphie and leaned a companionable arm on her shoulder. Quistis and Seifer stood behind them.

"Mission completed Squall." Said Quistis with a smile.

Seifer yawned "And Chicken Wuss found a friend."

Zell directed a useless glare at Seifer "You wanna come over here and say that??" he growled.

Seifer laughed, and Squall looked confused.

"A friend?" he asked, puzzled.

"Peep!"

Squall shook his head; _I didn't know the withdrawal effects would be this bad._

Zell bent down and sprang up with something in his hands. "Squall, meet Peep."

There was a small thud as Squall hit the floor.

"Coffee withdrawal?"

"Yup."

* * *

Short…vaguely pointless…but then again this ain't War and Peace. Please review! I'm still deliberating about the names but for now she's called Peep. Thanks for the suggestions…I can't decide! ::sobs::

Please review!


	4. Chapter 4: I'm watching you

The Chocobo Whisperer

Chapter 4

Squall had been dragged (and a few times, unnecessarily dropped) by Seifer and Irvine to his dorm. He was still unconscious, Rinoa had gone to Dr Kadowaki to try and find if it was possible to have coffee inserted straight into the bloodstream.

Zell was in his dorm room, he sat on his bed, while Peep was in front of him.

"So, Peep."

An unblinking stare.

"Stop doin' that yeah??"

"Peep."

Zell scooped the small bird up and stood up. "I'm bored," he announced "Lets go out."

"Peep."

Zell walked outside and placed Peep down. Shoving his hands in his pockets he walked down the corridor, with Peep shuffling along behind.

"STUDENT NUMBER 01388370???" came a thundering summon.

Zell swung round quickly, fists up. A frightened Peep ran up his pant leg. Zell's eyes widened.

"Excuse me." Came the cold voice of the NORG representative. " But what exactly, is _that?_"

Zell thought swiftly.

"What?"

Zell tried to ignore the quivering lump in his trousers.

"Peep."

Zell cleared his throat "EEPAHEM, I don't what you mean." He gave a convincing smile.

He leaned against the railing and tried to look innocent.

The NORG representative shifted forward, his face still in shadow. "I'm watching you." He whispered suspiciously.

"PEEP!" It was the final straw for Peep, she ran out of Zell's trousers and darted around the NORG representative's feet. He lost his balance and his arms windmilled. The next part seemed to happen in slow-motion. If there had been a camera, it would have done a quick freeze shot, then circled the NORG representative. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunate for the unfortunate man in the unfortunate circumstances) He stumbled back. Zell watched in half guilty enjoyment as NORG representative flipped over the barrier and into Balamb Garden's famous fountains.

Zell tapped a finger on his chin and peered over. "You alright down there?? You lost your balance!"

Peep hopped up onto a bench and looked over "Peep." She looked up at Zell guiltily.

Zell gave her a covert pat.

The NORG representative was treading water, his soaked uniform must make that pretty difficult, thought Zell absently.

He had still managed to keep his hat on though.

"GET. ME . OUT. OF .HERE!!!!!"

The furious yell of the NORG rep echoed around B-Garden's main hall.

A crowd had gathered at this point.

Quistis shoved her way through to Zell. "Calm down everyone! You," she indicated a besotted looking Trepie who looked like Heaven had come early "Go get a life belt."

Zell looked vaguely disappointed.

After a few minutes of disorder, in which the NORG representative almost drowned, the man was out of the water.

He was shivering but he managed to make it over to Zell.

"I'll get you one day…oh yes…" he muttered and then began walking away.

Quistis and Zell watched him go wide-eyed.

"I think he may have issues." Commented Quistis.

"Peep."

* * *

"Peep, peep, peep, peep, peep, peep, peep, peep, peep, peep, peeeeeeeeeep."

Zell sighed and got up.

Peep had been, well, peeping, for at least an hour now.

Zell was getting a bit peep- pissed- off.

He clicked on the light, and Peep hopped onto his bed, her bright eyes shining in the light.

"Peep." she said again mournfully.

He picked her up and looked at her "What's wrong??" he demanded, frustrated.

The feathered body pressed closer to his hand and the eyes peered up at him fearfully.

"I'm sorry kiddo." Relented Zell, he stood up, still holding the bird.

"What should we do…?" Zell posed the question musingly.

Peep cheeped.

"Good but no…" replied Zell absently.

Peep peeped.

"That's it! I'll go ask Quistis!" As Quistis was a fount of knowledge in Zell's eyes, she would surely know.

So that's why, at one o'clock in the morning, there was a knock on Quistis's door.

She opened the door, attired in a beige dressing gown, her eyes half closed, adjusting to the harsh lights of the corridor.

"Zell…?" she inquired groggily.

"Hi…I'm sorry but…"

Quistis interrupted him.

"Zell, it is one in the morning, you have neglected to put on more than your underpants-"

Zell looked down and flushed.

"And I need sleep or I get grouchy, so please tell me the reason that you woke me up is nothing short of Armageddon."

Zell was pretty surprised that Quistis could come up with such an eloquent speech in the middle of the night.

Wordlessly he held up the small bird, who cheeped pathetically.

Behind the over-cute bird, he attempted an apologetic grin.

"Now, chicken-wuss, that _is _pathetic."

Seifer's low voice reached his ears, and they both looked up. Zell in a I'm-going-to-MURDER-you kind of way, Quistis was more surprised.

"Seifer?" she said, blinking at him. "What are you doing up?"

He stood slouched against the wall, a small smirk on his lips, yet there was a certain hardness in his eyes.

"I could ask the same of you two." He deadpanned.

Zell processed this information "Peep, idiot!" he brandished the small bird at the tall man.

Seifer seemed to relax and looked more amused. He walked over to them.

He looked down Peep. "What's the problem?"

Zell shifted, unused to Seifer being…not exactly nice, but cordial. "She won't stop cheeping."

Peep, to demonstrate this exactly, was being absolutely silent.

"….okay." Seifer sounded sceptical.

They stood in silence for another minute.

"…Can I go to back to bed?" asked Quistis suddenly.

Peep shuffled around and blinked "Cheep."

"That's a new one." Commented Zell unnecessarily.

"Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep."

It continued.

For a while.

And showed no sign of stopping.

Making a decision, Quistis opened her door fully. "Come in." she said in a resigned voice.

Zell jogged in and set Peep down on the table, Seifer strolled over to sit on the bed, but thought better of it after catching sight of Quistis's dangerous expression. He nonchalantly veered away from the bed and seated himself in a dignified fashion on a nondescript chair.

Quistis heaved a world-weary sigh. "So, we'll think through _why _exactly Peep is- in distress- and how to solve it."

They sat in silence again.

Quistis possibly might have dozed off.

Zell looked enlightened after a few minutes. "Food!"

Seifer rose an eyebrow "You haven't fed her?"

"What do you feed chocobos with??"

"Uh…"

"Is Quistis asleep?"

Seifer got up cautiously and approached the woman.

After receiving a hefty thump he decided waking up Quistis by poking her was not a good idea.

Zell stood up suddenly "Gyshal greens!"

Seifer (who was nursing his soon-to-be black eye) and Quistis (fixing herself a coffee) both looked up.

Zell shoved his hand in his pocket and brought out a wilted leaf. Almost reverently, he laid it in front of Peep.

A second later, he came to know it intimately when it flopped into his face.

It was fair to assume that Peep did not want to three-month old leaf.

Quistis was looking vaguely stressed "I think you better go see chocoboy."

Seifer muffled some laughter.

"What?" snapped Quistis irritably.

"The arch nemesis of the Milkybar kid…CHOCOBOY…"

Quistis decided to go for the mature approach.

She ignored him.

* * *

Blame anything bad on the fact I'm back to school again…

And review!

Oh and….

::drumroll::

I DO NOT OWN FINAL FANTASY….or for that matter the Milkaybar Kid. Any of them.


	5. Chapter 5: Hiho Ragnorak AWAY!

Chapter 4

Selphie was back in the driving seat. After obtaining Squall's permission (they roughly translated his gibbering into 'yes of course you may use the Ragnorak to find out how to care for Peep properly'), they had set off to find Chocoboy, codename 'the kid' as Seifer seemed to dissolve into laughter whenever anyone said 'chocoboy'. They had unanimously agreed not to ask.

"I'm landing!" called Selphie cheerily.

Zell and Irvine automatically clung to a fixed point on the ship, and then sent a quick prayer up to Hyne.

Some say that when people are desperate they find religion again.

This was certainly true for Zell and Irvine.

The ship jolted.

"!#$£!!!!!"

"Language Zell!!" Selphie called back.

But the ship landed without (much) mishap.

The two men breathed a synchronised sigh of relief.

Selphie leapt up out of the seat "Come on guys!" she called enthusiastically.

Evidently Peep (who had eventually been placated with some apple- though not before keeping them up half the night) shared Selphie's view on life and jumped out of Zell's shaking hands to follow the girl.

Zell passed a hand over his brow, clutching the side of the ship, he made his tremulous way outside.

Irvine followed behind him and shut his eyes as the bright Trabian sunshine hit his eyes.

"So," he started, shading his eyes with his hand "Are you sure the kid will be here? There are a lot of these forest-y things"

Selphie looked contemplative for a moment "Yeah, sure!" she gave a beaming smile to Irvine.

He smiled back with Sexy Kinneas look #069.

Selphie looked at him curiously "You ill, Irvy?"

Disappointed Irvine look #01.

Zell was already making his way to the forest with Peep dancing around at his heels.

Irvine sighed and motioned to Selphie "Comin' Sephy?"

She skipped over to him and took his arm "Escort me?" her emerald eyes twinkled merrily.

Irvine's disappointed face changed into a relaxed grin. "Of course, m'lady."

"Will you guys hurry up?? Or at least get a room!"

Zell's shout floated back to them and they flushed. They broke apart and walked towards the blonde martial artist, keeping a respectful distance between them.

Zell was tapping his feet impatiently when they finally reached him and Peep was chasing a beetle around the snowy ground.

They began to walk into the forest. The dark evergreen trees rose up around them, clustering together so only a pale greenish light filtered through.

The group walked in mostly silence, with only a vague passing comment.

The forest seemed to exude a sleepy kind of peace that made a person want to just find the nearest comfortable leaf patch.

Well, some people.

After a few minutes walking, they reached a small clearing.

"Well, this is it." Sighed Irvine walking into the empty clearing.

Zell frowned "Um, shouldn't there be more- chocobos and chocoboys?"

"Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep."

Irvine felt a slight weight land on his hat.

"Uh guys??" he questioned anxiously.

Zell and Selphie looked at him, then started laughing.

Looking grumpy, Irvine took off his cowboy hat to see a chicobo. It chirped at him cheerily then hopped off to investigate Peep.

"Hi."

A kid had appeared in front of them.

He looked at them "What ya doin' here?" he questioned, watching Peep and mysterious chicobo frisked around Zell's ankles.

Irvine smiled "We're here to find out how to look after a chicobo."

The kid looked them over impartially "1500 gil please." He said finally, holding a grubby hand.

"Whaaaaat??" cried Zell springing forward, almost tripping over the frisking chicobos in the process.

"I gotta eat." Stated the boy sadly, looking at Selphie with big eyes.

Her effort was credible; she did last a few minutes.

"Aw! Poor boy!" she walked over to him and he gave a small sad smile.

"Thank you." He said, his pupils dilating once more to normal size.

Zell and Irvine exchanged amazed glances.

After a beseeching look from Selphie, Irvine heaved a sigh and dug in his pocket for money.

"You owe me," he directed to Zell as he handed it over.

"Its not MY fault I forgot my wallet!"

"You forget your wallet all the time." Irvine shot back and retreated, grumbling.

The boy pocketed the cash with an oddly mercenary smirk.

"So you want to know how to look after a chicobo?"

Zell resisted the urge to go 'duuuuh' and merely nodded.

"They kinda look after themselves really, or their mothers do." The boy said.

The group stood in silence for a while.

"….And?" prompted Irvine.

The boy was silent and then held out his hand, but on seeing the dangerous look in Zell's eyes, he withdrew it. "I'll take care of it."

Zell stood still, emotions warring within him. On one hand, he would be rid of the responsibility of a small bird but…

Zell, indecision on his face, mumbled "Let's go."

He walked to the edge of the clearing.

Peep caught sight of him and waddled up to him, peeping lovingly.

Zell looked down "You'll be better here." He said as if trying to convince himself.

The plump little bird looked up at him, uncomprehending.

"Bye." He began to walk away, forcing his feet to move.

Selphie stood on her toes and whispered in Irvine's ear "He won't last…You'll see."

He managed a few metres and one heart-rending peep.

Money covertly changed hands.

Zell stormed back "Fine! I won't leave!" then proceeded to stand glaring at them all.

Selphie thanked the boy politely and then bought some gyshal greens.

They left for the Ragnorak.

* * *

Squall assumed that Peep was trying to maybe make a nest out of his paperwork. He gingerly took a sip of tea. Some caffienne was better than none. 

"Zell," he said carefully, keeping an eye on Peep cheerfully ripping an important letter from a Galbadian dignitary and tucking it delicately into the corner of her makeshift nest.

"You know we can't keep animals in Garden." He finished gravely.

Zell who had been watching Peep fondly, like an indulgent parent, jerked his head up at this. He stared at Squall in disbelief. He had just returned from his visit to Trabia.

But the brunette man was staring out of the window, maybe at the same Balamb seagull that Zell had looked at.

There was a quiet ripping sound as a letter from Timber requesting SeeD was added to the floor of the nest.

Squall cast a slightly panicked look at nest building.

"Squall?" asked Zell warningly.

"It's the rules Zell." Said Squall almost pleadingly, which meant monotone.

"But Peep isn't messy! Or destructive!" Zell had either conveniently ignored the fact that Peep was destroying important paperwork, or was just plain oblivious.

"Yes but," Squall paused "It's the rules."

"Bah," snorted Zell contemptuously "Watch this."

He swung off his seat and marched out of the door and slammed it behind him.

Peep looked up and cheeped in alarm, she leapt off the desk, her motion whirling the ripped pieces of paper around like a snow storm. She peeped loudly and ran into the door

Squall winced and Zell shot back in the room, "Peep!" he cried, his voice full of anxiety.

"PEEP TO ME!!!" he continued, holding the small bird in his hands.

Peep cheeped weakly and her eyes fluttered open.

Squall leant back in his chair, feeling slightly relieved.

"PEEP." Said Peep indignantly and pecked Zell.

"Owie!" he exclaimed, holding his thumb with a wounded expression. He gave a sheepish laugh "I guess I deserved that."

He stood up with Peep in his hand and set her gently on the table.

"See what I mean?" said Zell with an air of helplessness.

Squall sighed and laid a hand on his forehead. Sighing again, he picked out a piece of important letter and deposited it on the table.

Peep, obviously feeling dandy, had decided to start on the next pile of paperwork.

_Riiiiiiiiiiiip__, rip, rustle._

Squall quietly pushed the pile away from the small bird.

Suddenly seeing the enmity in those little eyes, he realised he may have made a mistake.

With a quick swallow, he pushed them back.

This, the man who had boldly faced down Ultimecia the evil sorceress who had threatened to destroy the world in Time Compression, Squall sighed.

Small cute birds had their own very special brand of evil.

Peep continued blithely ripping up his next six months worth of paperwork.

Squall looked desperate and so scribbled a quick note and shoved it towards Zell.

"Here! Permission!" he resisted the urge to shot 'JUST GO!!'.

Zell grinned "Thanks man." He stood up.

Peep, being suspicious, took a flying leap into Zell's pocket.

Zell waved amicably "I'm going to the library for some info. Later!"

He walked out the office.

The sound of the door gently closing coincided with the sound of Squall's head hitting the desk.

* * *

Poor Squall! I seem to be being very mean to him….I'll be nicer later… 

I'm also going to have to try and put Rinoa into the story more too…

I hope this wasn't crap, it was written over a while.

::STRESSES::

Please help by reviewing :)


	6. Chapter 6: Of Chocobos! and coffee

Chapter 6

Zell walked into the Library, Peep at his heels.

He cast his eyes around. Nodding, he went over to the desk.

The girl at the counter was reading, one hand supporting her chin while she turned the pages of her book.

The library was quiet, with only the clicking sound of the person typing, the girl turning the pages and a drunk quietly singing to himself in the corner.Nobody liked to tell him to go away as he immediatly started to tell the long and rambling story of his life.

Zell approached the desk uncertainly. He tilted his head slightly, and waved a hand in front of him. "Um, yo?"

The girl suddenly looked up, and on catching sight of him, she flushed a deep red and slammed her book shut.

"Hello Zell." She squeaked, and turned to the computer "I'm sorry but Pupurun does ballroom dancing isn't in yet. Sorry." She turned to him and gave a quick nervous smile before dropping her gaze to the desk.

"Anything else?" she inquired quickly.

Zell realised he looked surprised and gathered his wits "Lina, right?"

She gave a stupid smile and looked as if she had been waiting to hear that for a long time.

But of course Zell failed to notice that as he was busy staring at the counter

"Um, I was wonderin', ya know if you have any books on chocobos?" There was a slight pause "Please." He finished.

She flashed him a quick shy smile again and typed into the computer very fast.

She turned to him, her eyes still on the computer "Yes, there are," she stopped. Then her eyes widened and she froze.

Zell looked concerned "You ok?"

She swallowed "I think," she carefully "There appears to be something…climbing up my leg."

Zell choked "Peep!" he began looking around his feet for the bird then leapt over the counter.

The person typing away at the computer had stopped and was craning their neck back to see what was going on.

Zell spied the bird halfway up the girl's leg and he picked the bird up, flushing. "Sorry about that." He held Peep in one hand and scratched the back of head sheepishly with the other.

The girl laughed awkwardly, then Peep decided to jump again. Zell dived down with a muffled exclamation and feeling rather awkward the girl bent down to help.

The person at the computer looked on with wide eyes as the two dived beneath the desk.

With an air of 'what I don't know can't hurt me', they carried on typing.

But they did turn up the volume of their music.

The drunk didn't notice and went on to the next verse of 'hey diddle diddle the cat and and the fiddle…'.

Meanwhile the two were scrabbling underneath the desk while Peep ran around them happily, having a jolly good time.

"I've got it!"

"Ow! That's my hair!"

"Uh…sorry!"

She blushed, his hair had kinda looked yellow and feathery.

An inane giggle escaped her.

"Peep!" The girl looked up to see Zell, looking half irritated, half amused as he picked up

a small bird.

It crooned and snuggled up into his face.

The girl had to resist the urge to 'aaaaaah…'

"Excuse me?" an arrogant voice enquired, and banged on the bell several times.

The girl brushed her self off, and pushed a pigtail onto her back. She bounced up to see the man she had mentally dubbed 'arrogant ass'.

The arrogant SeeD's roving eye took in her rather flustered appearance, he raised an eyebrow.

The girl smiled primly "Can I help you?"

"My name's Jorren, Lina, you know that."

Lina didn't dare tell him she'd forgotten. "Sorry Jorren, can I help you?"

Unfortunately, Zell chose this moment to get up after scolding Peep. "Thanks for that."

He grinned at Lina, not noticing Jorren.

Jorren's eyes switched from Zell to Lina, Lina to Zell.

His eye then twitched.

He stood up to his full height, and began to almost swell in indignation. "Well," he started in an indignant voice.

Zell did the first thing he thought of.

He held out the small bird with an apologetic smile.

* * *

Zell sighed and looked angstful, glancing between the hot dog and his book. 

The hot dog or the book.

Making a decision he took a bite out of the hot dog and continued reading the book.

'Chocobos are yellow'

There was a splodge of yellow.

'Chocobos run'.

There was a yellow splodge with legs.

'Chocobos wark'

There was a yellow splodge with wark next to it.

Zell sighed impatiently and set the book down on the table. He looked musingly at the title.

It was 'Chocobos!' then in very small writing below it 'For 2 to 5 year olds, make learning fun!'

He frowned and picked up the next book. Peep decided to start nest building again when the 'Chocobos!' book came her way.

Engrossed in looking at the next book, Zell never noticed the ripping sounds.

The cafeteria ladies had been silenced from complaints by the machinations of Peep.

Nobody, it seemed, could resist her wide eyed gaze.

The next book was 'Chocobos- a thesis that they are the instigators of the divine will of Hyne'.

The first page began to explain that the only way to achieve a higher level of existance was to eat Gyshal Greens and wark periodically.

Zell pushed the book away; Peep cheeped comfortably and started testing the softness of the pages.

The next one was 'The Chocobos- the greatest band of all time'.

Zell finished the one hot dog he had managed to scrape by bribing one of the dinner ladies with a copy of 'Boy next door'. He pushed the plate away then caught sight of Peep's labours.

"SHIT!"

He snatched the books back and Peep regarded him mournfully.

"Peep." She uttered and her eyes turned on him.

But he was too busy trying to piece the bits of paper back together. She cheeped irritably.

"Need some help?" an amused voice enquired.

Zell looked up with a sheepish grin to see Rinoa.

"Hey, yeah, Peep decided these books make good nesting material."

Rinoa smiled and sat down opposite him. "Ah so this is the famous Peep."

The chicobo looked up, decided that the Gyshal Green that Zell had just set out was more interesting- but the bird made a mental note to try and make a nest out of her coat as soon as possible.

Rinoa was not exempt from the cuteness of the bird, she unconsciously tilted her head "Aw she's so cute!"

Zell looked at Peep with maternal pride, who seemed to know she was being complimented and was looking the epitome of all things good in the world.

Squall entered the canteen and on catching sight of the epitome of all things good in the world, tried to walk straight out the way he'd come.

Unfortunately it was not to be so.

"Squall! Over here!" the dark haired girl waved at her boyfriend.

He grimaced and walked over, gingerly taking a seat furthest away from Peep.

Peep glanced at him.

Some might say he flinched.

Rinoa smiled at him "Hey." She said tenderly.

The sides of Squall's mouth upturned slightly, his eyes still on the bird. "Hi."

Rinoa grinned "I'm going to get a sandwich, want anything Squall, Zell?"

Squall shook his head.

Zell propped his head up on his hands "Um, some coffe-"

Zell caught Rinoa's look "Um, I mean, I'd like some TOFFEE, yes TOFFEE."

Squall had the look of long suffering about him.

He stood up abruptly and stalked over to a table a few metres away and sat down resolutely.

From a distance it seemed like he was counting and breathing in deeply.

Rinoa followed Zell's concerned gaze and sighed "He's trying to overcome it."

However, this did not explain Squall's behaviour when he shouted to the cafeteria lady to bring him an double expresso.

Rinoa's eyes widened and she dashed over to him.

Zell rolled his eyes, maybe they should have done something about Squall's problem earlier.

He stood up and gathered his possessions efficiently while Peep leapt into his pocket with the ease of long practice.

Zell waved quickly to Rinoa who was scolding a sheepish looking Squall. Surprisingly she didn't wave back.

Zell chuckled and shook his head.

Irvine was on a mission somewhere and Selphie was visiting her friends in Trabia. Quistis was doing admin work (arguably because no one else could be bothered, and Squall's work ethic had died

somewhat since 'that' incident) and Seifer….well Seifer was being Seifer.

There was no actual hard evidence to prove that the accident with the Trepies and the manhole was anything to do with him.

They couldn't really tell anything from the ashes of the hard evidence anyway.

Thoughtfully Zell practised a few swipes, his parenting had been getting in the way of his training.

"Peep…What do you say to going to the training centre?"

Peep was busy lining Zell's pocket with the bits of 'Chocobos!' she had managed to salvage (a yellow splodge had pride of place in the middle of it) but she quickly peeped and continued making adjustments to the nest.

"Right." Zell made his way to the training centre, automatically checking his junctions.

They entered and Zell caught sight of a Grat. He bared his teeth in an evil grin.

But the Grat recognised Zell as the Evil Destroyer and began to run for it.

Zell's canine smile faded as he saw the Grat skedaddle "Hey! Hey wait!" he shouted, stumbling over himself to chase the fleeing Grat.

He soon lost the Grat as he lost it in the exotic foliage. The Grat lived to see another day (or at least five minutes, he was taken down by lucky strike from a Cadet escaping from the Hydrangea bush).

Glumly, Zell walked through the empty Training Centre. Monsters aren't that smart, but they do have basic survival instincts. Zell continued past the large shaking bush which signified that there would soon be new life in the Training Centre of Balamb.

He entered the Secret Area and caught sight of Quistis leaning on the railing and looking over.

"Hey Quisty!" he called and jogged over to her.

She was about to greet him back but was interrupted by a long drawn out pleasured roar.

Her eyes strayed to the entrance "They're at it again." She sighed wearily. "Hey Zell." She finished with a smile.

He waved "Not doing admin?" he questioned jokingly.

She groaned "Do NOT mention that. It's drained most of my will to live…" she put a hand on her brow "I feel a headache coming on. How's parenting going?"

Zell smiled "Its okay, we're coping. Aren't we Peep?"

There was a muffled agreement from his pocket.

Quistis laughed quietly and turned back to the view, she closed her eyes.

This meant that when Seifer entered, she didn't know.

This also meant that Seifer had never heard the expression 'one burned, twice shy'.

Namely sneaking up on an unaware Quistis was seriously not a good idea.

"BOO!"

Her eyes flew open and automatically she performed the self defence manoeuvres she had known since the age of twelve.

Solar Plexus, instep, nose, groin.

Zell winced for the downed man.

On catching sight of her 'attacker', Quistis gasped and knelt down beside him. "Crap! I'm so sorry Seifer! Are you okay?"

After a few minutes of Seifer curled up in the fetal position, he at length replied.

"I fink my dose is bwoken."

* * *

Sorry for the delay! I have literally been buried under work. Really. I've been calling for help for three days; nobody has found me, as yet. Listening to The Thrills has kept me marginally sane,and have been surviving on canned peaches. 

However reviews can help me.

Tell me what you think!


	7. Chapter 7: The sound of silence

Chapter 7

It was silent around the table in the cafeteria.

Not to say the table was empty.

It wasn't.

Perhaps it was silent because the people sitting around the table were vaguely pissed with one another.

Seifer.

He was generally pissed at everyone and had a bloody nose (or dose).

Quistis, pissed at Seifer for still being pissed at her.

Rinoa, annoyed at Squall for not being stronger on the whole coffee thing.

Squall, he, like Seifer, was again sampling the joys of misanthropy.

Selphie was fuming at Irvine because he had wandered blind drunk back into Garden (literally, in his inebriated state, the wall and the door had somehow merged into one) the previous night and started singing a lovelorn song to the door of dormitory next to hers. The occupant being one of Irvine's ex flings. Suffice to say, the ensuing scene had not been pretty. And to add insult to injury, Selphie's entire corridor had seen her favourite moogle pajamas.

And Irvine? He was nursing the mother of all hangovers. Generally not conducive to a benevolent attitude to the world. Plus he wasn't sure why Selphie kept shooting him dirty looks. And not in the good way either.

Zell? He was the exception, a neutral party, he wasn't too bothered.

Peep wasn't either, although she was occasionally indulging in the 'lets scare Squall' game.

Squall's eye twitched as he studiously ignored the small bird, and he took a sip of de-caffeinated coffee.

Quistis turned a page over, far louder than was necessary.

Selphie sniffed and continued to stir her hot chocolate round.

Seifer was glaring at the world indiscriminately, plaster stitches across his nose.

Irvine was gazing absently at the world through half lidded eyes, wincing whenever someone made the slightest noise.

Rinoa had her arms folded on the table and had her chin resting lightly on top of them, she was looking pensively at the cafeteria staff who were (unknown to her) making bets on who would speak first.

Zell flicked a piece of scrunched up paper over the table. Peep ran over the table, peeping, to retrieve it. She returned, triumphant.

Zell patted the small bird, his warm congratulations the only sound around the table.

Peep fluffed up her feathers happily and wanting more attention wandered over to Selphie.

"Peep?"

"Not now…" murmured Selphie, not looking up.

"PEEP!!"

Selphie's head jerked up startled.

"Peep." The small bird repeated more gently, big eyes staring irresistibly into Selphie's.

A reluctant smile forced its way onto her face.

Squall watched covertly _Peep…she's a weapon_.

Selphie was giggling as Peep nuzzled against her hand and instinctively looked up as she felt someone's eyes on her. She met the violet eyes of Irvine who was smiling tenderly at her.

Blushing she looked down; _it was kinda sweet when passed out last night_…She thought absently while petting Peep.

Meanwhile Irvine was pleasantly surprised when Selphie didn't look at him like he was single celled organism which had decided to excrete on her shoe.

That didn't mean he hadn't still got a _really _bad headache.

Rinoa sighed, and taking pity on the sharpshooter, quietly cast cure on him.

Irvine looked up blinking, his head suddenly feeling so much lighter.

Then he felt nauseous.

_Then _he ran out of the room searching desperately for the nearest toilet.

Rinoa watched him go, wide-eyed.

She turned back to the table, meeting Quistis's amused gaze.

"Curative magic and alcohol don't mix, the regenerative magic tries to get rid of the poison any way possible. I've seen it before in cadets." The blond's eyes strayed to Seifer.

He scowled.

Selphie stood, startled, as Irvine hurtled out of the room.

"Wha…?" she said half questioning.

"A really bad hangover, I've seen it before in Instructors." Said Seifer with a glimmer of amusement and a sideways look at Quistis.

Seifer ducked as a book sailed his way. There was a 'thunk' as it hit the floor. Seifer smirked as Quistis grimaced.

Selphie, who had managed to ignore the entire book throwing incident, looked anxious "I'll go see if he's okay…" She left. Rinoa continued watching Seifer and Quistis with interest.

Quistis got up, dignified, and slowly walked round to pick up the book from the floor, behind Seifer's chair.

Unfortunately, it wasn't there.

Seifer squinted at the book in his hands "What the…?" he asked to no-one in particular. Quistis sighed and rolled her eyes, folding her arms "It's a book about early Guardian Forces."

"I know." Replied Seifer mildly, inspecting it.

A few minutes passed "…Can I have it back now?" asked Quistis impatiently.

Seifer, looking as smug as a man with a black eye and plaster stitches across their nose can look, replied "…No."

"Seifer…" said Quistis warningly.

"Peep!" the small bird, perhaps realising there was to be an imminent conflict, or perhaps coveting the book as ideal nesting material, jumped on to Seifer.

His eyes widened in surprise and the book flew out of his hands, only to be neatly caught by Quistis. "Thank you Peep." She said smartly, trying a smirk of her own at Seifer.

Seifer scowled.

It was silent once more around the table.

And it was likely to be for longer.

* * *

"Tell me again, why did I agree to this mission?"

"So you're not sulking anymore then?"

"I do not sulk!"

"…"

"…So, why did I?"

"You didn't, Squall said if you didn't he'd beat you to death with…What was it again Rinoa?"

"Cid's leaf blower."

"Right, he said he'd beat you to death with Cid's leaf blower."

"Ah yes okay, thanks. Cid has a leaf blower?"

"Yeah, he blows all the leaves off the steps of Balamb garden when he gets bored."

"Ah."

"Seifer, Quistis? Zell? Where's the Centra tower-thingy?"

"Well…"

"Seifer, you have the map, see where it is."

"Er…"

"You do HAVE the map don't you?"

"Er…"

"…Seifer…?"

The blonde man chuckled nervously and scratched the back of head and avoided the gaze of the irate Quistis.

"Hey Chickenwuss? You have the map don't ya?"

Zell, who was trudging along silently in the deep snow, looked up. Peep danced around his feet on the surface of the snow, leaving dainty little footprints.

"You said I was irresponsible and therefore would lose the map so you would keep it."

The group came to a halt. Above them, the winter sun of Centra shone down regardless. The layer of snow glaring back.

"Uh heheh…God if I see any more white I'll go crazy!" Seifer exclaimed and quickly hurried on ahead.

The two women exchanged looks.

_Men._

* * *

SORRY for somewhat delayed and crap chapter. I have WHOLE bucketful of excuses. Plus my birthday was the day before my exams started, and I'm in the middle of them right now… :(

To cheer me up, please review!!

…

…

…

What do you mean emotional blackmail??


	8. Chapter 8: Centra

Chapter 8

"Class A SeeDs…and we're lost."

"We're not _lost_."

"…Right."

Rinoa sighed heavily and rolled her eyes at the ongoing argument between Seifer and Quistis. Zell caught her eye and grinned, Peep was on his shoulder, huddled up against his neck, apparently sleeping.

Zell put shaded his eyes with a gloved hand "Hey guys!" he called, squinting into the distance at an odd structure. "Is that it?"

Quistis paused and looked "Yes, I think so. Thank you Zell. We could have been wandering around for hours if we'd left Mr Navigator here in charge." She rose an eyebrow at Seifer.

He growled "We're here aren't we?"

Quistis sighed, when they reached the hexagonal structure, she paused. "Right, mission briefing. We're here to find out if reports are true that a rebel gang is hiding out here. There are a lot of tonberries around so this could take a while. Any questions?"

Seifer rose a hand.

"Sensible questions." Added Quistis hurriedly.

After a moments the hand went down.

There were no more questions, so the group entered the structure.

"It creeps me out here." Said Rinoa, shuddering, after a minute of silence.

Peep peeped and it echoed around the empty square. The sky overhead had darkened and grey clouds crowded ominously. A desolate wind swept past the group. Spatters of rain began to fall, further darkening the sombre colours of the ruins.

Rinoa peered forward "Oh my god! A tonberry!" she cried. Indeed, in the distance, a small green figure waddled towards them.

They all got into battle position, and waited.

The green figure continued to waddle towards them threateningly, brandishing a small knife.

Zell coughed and sniffed.

"Weather sucks, doesn't it?"

There was a chorus of agreement from the group.

"Did anyone bring their raincoats? I mean, I thought we wouldn't need them, but it shows, you never know."

Again, there was agreement.

Rinoa relaxed and began fiddling with her sleeve. Peep yawned and eyed the piece of blue thread Rinoa had pulled from her coat. Peep glanced towards Zell, who grinned back.

Peep cheeped impatiently. She had no idea why mother was standing around the rain, watching a small stumpy thing get closer. Why couldn't they go somewhere dry and warm where she could eat Gyshal greens in piece and make a nest out of that pretty blue coat? She looked forward again, and spied some shelter behind the stumpy thing.

Hopping down from Zell's shoulder, the perch making a sound of protest as she did so, she ran over the ground, getting wet. Zell's eyes widened and he ran after the small bird.

Peep reached the tonberry and stopped in front of it. She peeped angrily as it waved the knife at her.

Suddenly the tonberry was shot by a large fireball and then ran off with its tail on fire.

The rest of the group reached them and Quistis gasped "Chocometeor!"

Peep looked smug and preened her wet feathers, which reminded her. She ran up the steps and disappeared inside the structure.

Zell and Rinoa followed but Quistis was stopped by a voice saying "Being upstaged by a chicobo Trepe?" Seifer laughed and went on ahead.

She scowled at his back and followed quickly.

She just knew this was going to be one of those days.

Two hours, approximately four dead tonberries, and a bruised Seifer later, the group stood on top of the structure, the wind whipping their hair (and feathers).

They had found roughly one sweet wrapper to suggest anyone had been here in the last year, and Zell wasn't sure if he hadn't dropped it the last time he was here.

Seifer voiced everyone's thoughts.

"Well this has been one great big waste of time."

They were about to turn away when a large door creaked open. Rinoa frowned "That's Odin's Chamber." She said, confused.

Zell sniffed "That was creepy." Peep peeped and shuffled her way further into his collar, her bright eyes just showing over the material.

Quistis paused at the entrance. Seifer walked over to her "Um…" he began, showing a rare moment of hesitation "Would that be the GF that I …?" the unspoken question hung in the air.

Zell flounced past him into the door "Chopped up? Yeah."

Seifer growled and followed the fighter in. The chamber was silent and echoing. Zell walked into the centre "Woah, nice place." Quistis and Rinoa walked in and regarded the room.

Seifer grimaced in distaste as his coat disturbed the thick layer of dust on the floor as he walked over to him "Yeah, lovely location."

Rinoa sighed "Last time there was a big GF."

Peep huddled on Zell's shoulder, looking entirely miserable. Zell ruffled the soft feathers on her head "Cheer up!" he said with a smile.

Seifer shook his head "Wuss." He muttered. Zell was about to retort angrily when suddenly there was the sound of definite footsteps…

* * *

Ugh. In the midst of exams, thought I'd write for a bit of light relief. I'm not too happy with this chapter but I hope I can write better ones soon!

Please review, hope to have more regular updates after exams.


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